This one's a little different than you're used to

Excuse me sir, you cannot move about the cabin until the captain has turned off the seat belt sign,

 is what the male stewardess flight attendant said to me as I pushed by him.

All I could reply was,

Vomit! 


Looking for a funny vomit picture? Use this one, don't google it yourself.  Trust me.

This past week I was away on a business trip.  I was preparing a nice little post about leaving my girls and listing the things I could do to make the time away from them go faster.
I was struggling with the post. 

I really felt like I was forcing the topic.  Why wouldn't it come to me? 

Now I know why!  I was supposed to write about something else, something a little more hacky. 

Why business travel sucks. 

I could also call it worst business trip ever, but I feel that would just be inviting something worse to happen.

Why, you might ask, was it the worst trip ever?

On Monday my first flight was delayed.  This caused me to miss my connecting flight, miss a meeting, and added four hours to my travel time.

On Thursday I awoke at four AM to catch my flight home from San Francisco.  By the time I changed planes in Denver, I didn't feel very well.  My text to Julia went something like this:

So nauseous! 

I spent most of the two hour flight from Denver in the bathroom. 

You haven't lived until you've crammed yourself in a 2x4x6 bathroom for two hours and COMPLETELY emptied the contents of your stomach. 

Actually, there was plenty of room as I only used a 2x2x3 area.

The verdict is in - food poisoning, from bad seafood.

After landing, I was barely able to drive myself home.  I walked in the door, plowed straight past a sign my daughters had colored for me to welcome me home, and went straight to the bathroom to pick up where I left off. 

Then, after sufficiently emptying my body of everything I'd eaten since last Thanksgiving, I went to bed, where I spent 28 of the next 30 hours. 

Being sick is (usually) not that bad.  Being away from my family for any extended period of time is (usually) not much fun.

So coming home and going to bed (when I expected to have family time) was quite the disappointing way to end a week.  At least I lost nine pounds, caught up on my sleep, and got to use a sick day! 

Woo hoo.

PS - For those of you that doubt my craziness, it has been almost three days since the poisoning took place.  I have eaten only two pieces of toast in that time frame, yet my body is craving one thing, and one thing alone.

Sushi.