Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Raising hip children
I was an athlete, so I was semi-popular, but far from cool. I am pretty cool now - at least my wife and children think so - I think.
Actually, I am far from cool.
I have no fashion sense. I think a navy shirt goes well with black pants. My wife has to approve my wardrobe every morning to prevent me from embarrassing myself. If she's not awake when I leave, I just use my one or two default outfits that I know will not draw any unnecessary attention.
I make stupid jokes that may or may not be "appropriate" given the situation.
I don't know or care much about cars, electronics, and popular shows/movies.
I don't listen to new music or hang out at the trendy spots.
I can't dance (thank you Phil Collins) - unless you consider my white man's overbite move and the occasional robot as dancing. Okay, so I also do the shopping cart, mow the lawn, and the running man for a laugh - but that's it. I can't even do the electric slide - maybe that's not a bad thing. Even slow dancing with my wife is awkward. Size 15 shoes tend to crush anything they get near, so I don't pick them up to dance - they just slide.
My girls don't stand a chance to learn anything hip from me, so I count on Julia to do that. With all that said, there is one cool thing I have taught Hadley.
The fist bump.
We started with high fives, then moved on to low fives. Next came the tens. I really thought I had taken that as far as possible - until I gave her the fist bump.
She looked quizzically at me (as if calling me her big, dork dad), clenched her fist, and bumped me back.
We proceeded to fist bump that whole afternoon.
Brynne has yet to do it - maybe she knows the fist bump was semi-cool last decade, but has since lost any cool status it ever had. Maybe she is saving herself from being uncool. She won't wear a cell phone on her hip in a little clip on carrier either, so it's possible she has already surpassed me in coolness.
I don't do that and never have - just wanted to get that out there. I didn't avoid it because I thought it was not a good look, but rather because I just didn't realize people were doing it until it was too late. By the time I caught on to how awesome it looked, it was already outdated.
All I know is that Hadley and I are now working on going from the fist bump to jazz hands and we'll soon be working on secret handshakes.
Once we have that mastered, we'll work on the Kid n' Play dance move.
Perhaps I am cooler than I give myself credit for.