Over protective?

Mama had to run some errands, so Papa got to hang out with his three little ladies.  Being the multi-tasker that I am, I decided to go ahead and make dinner at the same time.  I fired up the grill and had just put the pork burgers on when the dogs started barking incessantly.  I checked on the girls and found the twins entertaining Ruby, so I went around the house to see what was going on. 

We had a raccoon in the yard a few months ago, which, according to Brynne, I broke...with a pellet gun.  I had to make sure we didn't have anything else potentially dangerous.  I got to where the dogs were and scanned the yard.  Nothing.

Ralphie and I both use pellet guns to "break" things.

I turned to head back to the grill and something caught my eye.  It appeared to be a bird that had fallen out a tree.  I started walking towards it, and so did the dogs.  The "bird" then struck out at the dogs, and was batted back with an incredibly quick paw.

So much for the bird.  It was a four and a half foot rat snake, coiled up and not looking pleased.

I put the dogs in their pen, trotted over to the barn to retrieve a shovel, and came back to find the snake right where I left it.  Five seconds later there were two snakes.  One was about three inches long and the other was four and a quarter feet long.

Both were still moving, but since the smaller snake had once been the larger snakes head, neither were harmful any longer.  I scooped them up and went back to the grill. 

To answer the question everyone is thinking, no, our entrée did not change.

After flipping the burgers, I brought the girls outside to see the snake.  Immediately, and not at all surprising, they tried to touch it, which I discouraged.  The body was still trying to slither away, though it was wrapped up in a rake and couldn't go anywhere.  It had left the head to fend for itself on the shovel.  The snake's mouth would open wide, then close slowly, only to reopen again.  Hadley thought it was funny that

"The snake is trying to eat Mama's shovel!" 

After watching it for a few minutes, we went inside to finish supper preparations. 

Mama came home and walked to the front door.  The girls and I were just inside, awaiting her return for two reasons.  First, so we could eat dinner.  Second, to see how she would react to the snake.  To say that Mama was not a fan of snakes would be an understatement.  We wondered if she would scream.  We had actually discussed that very question and were eager to find the answer.

To her credit, she never screamed.  As she walked up the front walk she looked to her left, did a double take, then shot up the stairs to the front door.  There was a barely audible "hey...hey...there's a...hey", followed by Mama nearly putting her fist through the glass door several times.

I opened the door smiling and asked what was wrong.  She pointed toward the snake, and finally was able to utter the word "snake".

I really hope this is the sign for snake crossing and not an indicator of the curve of the road ahead.

Once I pointed out it had no head, and she got over the fact that it was still wriggling around, she calmed down.  Not really, she brought it down a tiny bit, but was still keyed up.

At dinner, the girls repeatedly asked:

"Mama, why did you bang on the door?  It was just a snake."  

When we were done eating, we were going to head over to the neighbor's house to visit.  As we got our shoes on, Brynne calmly stated:

"Mama, you can walk next to me and I'll hold your hand so you won't be startled if we see another snake."

So what do you think?  Is my Brynne over protective of her Mama?  Does this make her a helicopter child?

New words and phrases

So the past few weeks have been incredibly busy.  Not just for me, but for the girls as well.  Here is a short sample of the new stuff they've been heard uttering around the house.

When they want a drink, they can no longer just say "milk" or "water".  Now, it's "Papa, may I have more milk/water/whatever please?".  After they ask, I inform them "yes you may", which Hadley repeats.  After saying this the other night, she gave me a bit of encouragement by saying "good talk".

It was a good talk, even though I really didn't add to the conversation.

Brynne informed me the "air conditioner is making funny noises", and then asked me to "please fix now".

I won't mention any names, but one of the little ladies was going to the bathroom.  I asked if she needed to be changed.  She then replied, "still working on it".  When she was done, she let me know it was a "big load". 

They've both started talking to me on the phone when I'm not there.  Every conversation is similar.  They say "hello", tell me "Papa go work", and then to "come back soon!".

On the weekends, I typically fix breakfast for everyone.  The night before, it is not uncommon for one of them to put in a request.  On Friday, Hadley wanted "pancakes" and Saturday, Brynne asked for "donuts".  Hadley was not disappointed to get regular and chocolate chip waffles.  Brynne was very pleased that I went and got donuts for us.  She kept asking to eat them in the "backseat", as we did the week prior while on a little father/daughters picnic, but I already had them dressed for church, so I didn't want to risk getting them dirty.

If you've been following me or Mama for any period of time, you know the girls don't watch TV at all.  When Mama left for the night last week, Brynne was overly distraught.  She told me "no" when I asked if playing with trains, trucks, letters, bouncy balls, puzzles, games, books, going to the basement, going outside, or playing with the dogs would make her feel better.  After 10 minutes I gave up and just asked her what would make her feel better.  She stopped crying, appeared to be deep in thought, and then replied "watch Winnie Pooh".


Winnie the Pooh truly makes all things better.

So we did.

Jealous much?

It's 3 AM. I haven't been able to fall asleep yet. Tossing and turning in bed, I listen to the noises around me. The air conditioner cycles on and off for the millionth time. When it goes off, I imagine it is actually going to sleep. The dogs, comfortably asleep in their houses - at our home we call their cages houses to sound more animal friendly - turn over. There are some crickets outside my window, but everything else is asleep. Julia rolls over, still sound asleep. I can tell Brynne just rolled over by the squeak in her crib. Since she made no other sound, I know she is sacked out.  

Can I get an AMEN!

Then I hear it.

All done sleeping. 
All done sleeping. 
All done sleeping. 
All done sleeping. 
All done sleeping. 
ALL DONE SLEEPING!

It's not the voices in my head, this time.  Apparently, Hadley is all done sleeping. 

I go into her room and she is standing in her crib.  When she sees me in the low light, she throws her hands in the air and then whispers (so as not to wake her sister)

All done sleeping.

I pick her up and take her back to our room, explaining to her it is too early to be done sleeping.  When I ask why she is all done, she informs me

I'm cold.

I lay her in our bed and go to switch their air conditioner to a warmer setting.  When I return, she is laying with her head on my pillow, under the covers, fast asleep.  It took all of 13 seconds.

I crawl into bed next to her and just watch her (and Julia) sleep.  So peaceful.  So sweet.  So out of it. 

Why can't I sleep like this?  Why can't I be asleep before my head hits the pillow?

I try to wake her up to take her back to her room, but she won't stir.  Finally, she opens her eyes and smiles at me and says 

Hadley sleepy.

I scoop her up, give her a little kiss on the forehead, and carry her back to bed.  When I go to lay her down she once again tells me

All done sleeping.

Since she's yawning as she says this I don't believe her.  Once again, she's out immediately.

I, meanwhile, go back to lay in my bed, still wide awake.  When the clock hits 4:30 AM I get up and go work out.

Perhaps I should move to Brooklyn.

Just another day with no sleep for Papa.  YAY!  At least everyone else got to rest.  I'll just have to catch up on my sleep at the office.  I know I'll get tired right as my day starts.

Vocabulary quiz

What a weekend we had!  The girls are now repeating every single thing we say.  Not only that, but they are understanding what the words mean and are able to reuse them appropriately.  Fortunately, I've been able to keep Mama from swearing too much in front of them, so they haven't dropped any inappropriate words, yet.

Looking outside our window, we have fee bidfeebers.  There are constantly mummingbids, yeggo feenches, cawdinalls, and bees hanging around.  Translation of the words in italics - three birdfeeders, hummingbirds, yellow finches, cardinals, and bees.

Just past the bidfeebers, for three days only, we had a POOL!! Pool is a very exciting word for the girls.  You can see them in action at Mama's blog.

They played with grandpapa, grandma, and their dog Chloe.  We taught them grandma and grandpa, but they turned grandpa into grandpapa on their own.  It was so awesome to see them make the connection between a papa and a grandpa, and then speak accordingly.

Words have now become sentences.  Though they are in broken English, we can understand them.  More importantly, other people can too! 

One of their favorite activities is taking the hose, filling up the dog's water dish (when we have them outside), and then carrying it ever so slowly to the dogs.  If they don't drink right away, they'll tell them "Weewee, Siobah, drink wawa" (Winnie, Fiona, drink water).  Then, they'll pick up the dish and move it closer.  The dogs will take a drink, probably to get the girls to stop following them around, but maybe because they were thirsty.

When they're not watering the flowers or mowing with their "wawnmowers", all they want to do is "RUUUNNNNNNNNNN", "HANG TEE" (hang from the tree), and "JUMP"

Hadley strung a six word sentence together for the first time.  She and papa both have skinned knees - mine from baseball and hers from an unfortunate run-in with the sidewalk.  Brynne loves to touch said knees and say "boo-boo".  Mama doesn't like the word boo-boo, so she is working on changing that to sore.  After Brynne touched Hadley's boo-boo sore, Hadley exclaimed "Papa, Hadley, sore knees, NO TOUCH!".

They have also taken up our efforts to keep the pups quiet.  They get the sternest look on their faces and holler "Weewee/Siobah/Chloe NO!".  Even Chloe, who has very little experience with them, quiets down and backs away.

Unfortunately, we did have one negative blip to the weekend.  As we were sitting on the deck at 7:30 or so Friday, we saw a police car drive by very slowly with his window down.  He appeared to be listening intently for something.  Our dogs had been outside for an hour or so, and had barked only when Julia's parents arrived with their dog.  I noticed our wonderful neighbors had been outside moments earlier.  I can only hope the officer was in the area for another reason, but I doubt it.  In case you've missed it, here and here and here is the back story on this.

Things I've learned recently

Here's another list for your reading pleasure.

1 - A 2-0 fastball right down the middle is the best way to end a "four baseball game in three day" weekend. 

2 - You know you need sleep when it's 8 PM, you're home alone with your sleeping twins, and you come to your senses as you're walking to the car to run a quick errand.  

3 - Seeing a father and child playing catch is pretty cool.  Even if the father is standing halfway down a steep hill and chasing every other throw to the bottom.

4 - A two hour lunch with a client where we talk zero business is the best kind of meeting.

5 - Some people just don't know how to negotiate.  You give and you take, you don't just take. 

6 - The thing you hate most about your own house will be a selling point when you list it, and you will defend it like you would your child.

7 - You may struggle understanding other toddlers, but with your own, most words are clear as can be.

8 - Going a day without seeing your children hurts.

9 - Business travel sucks, especially when you go to a coast from the Midwest and are there less time than you spend traveling there.

10 - Celebrate everything your children do.  No matter how big or how small.  You will remember their smiles more than the event which caused it.

11 - Having a toddler wake up with a dry diaper, then immediately asking to go potty in the actual potty, is so fantastic.

12 - Walking out to the backyard and finding your dog run has collapsed is frustrating.  Especially when you can't tell if the wire has worn out (after only a few years) or if it was cut by someone.

13 - Having both of your girls yell "BOO-BOO" as they stick a finger into the strawberries on your knees is funny and excruciating at the same time.

Thirteen is my lucky number, so I'll stop here.  What a week!

In response to the stupid neighbor

As you may recall, in my last post, I told you I would be destroying my neighbor's claims.  So here we go.  I'll try to keep it nice, but you might want to read this before letting your children. 

You might not have to "hide yo kids, hide yo wife" after all.

"We live in a very nice neighborhood and shouldn't have to put up with this. All the neighbors are fed up with it. Nobody else leaves their dogs out for three hours. I can understand an hour, but not three."

That's what she said on the phone.  Rubbish.

Yes, we do live in a nice neighborhood, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it a very nice one.  Why?  Because very nice neighborhoods don't have properties the owners don't maintain.  Owners like, oh I don't know, let me just pick someone out.  Maybe like you.

1 - You have multiple screens in your windows with large gashes in them.  Not little cuts, but foot long gashes where the screen is flayed open.  For less than $10 you can buy a kit to repair them.  I've done it myself and will help if you want.  While you're at it, maybe you'd like to put the screen door back on the tracks instead of having it lean against the house.

2 - The yard looks great.  I love what you've done with it.  Nobody else had the idea to get rid of a good portion of actual grass and let bare spots and weeds be accented by the occasional pile of crap.  Way to be a trendsetter.

3 - I take that back.  You do have a nice section of grass.  It's right along your fence line and looks to be about 18 inches tall.  It's nice and green, but I'm sure you've just overlooked that when you drove by on your riding lawnmower. 

Seriously?!?  You need a rider for that "yard"?  I could probably use the weed eater to mow your yard in about the same time it takes you to use the rider.

If he'd thought of this, he'd be doing it instead.

4 - The little bench in the yard, on the side of the house, is only lacking three of the five boards needed to sit on and two of the four back support pieces, which is probably why I've never seen anyone actually sit there in six years.  It might be cozy on a cool fall evening, seeing how it's right next to the homemade portable fire pit with the rusted out bottom. 

Perhaps having nowhere to place the wood is what prevents you from using it.  I'd still use it, if I were you, since there's no grass to catch fire near it.  Seeing how it sits eight inches from the house, I'm sure you have plenty of clearance so you don't have to worry about melting the siding.  If that worries you, just wait until next time you mow.  When you push it around with the rider to avoid getting up and actually moving it, just put it where you want it.

5 - While we're talking about the fence and siding, can I just say how much I love the job you've done painting it?  There's nothing wrong with the red color you chose.  It matches the yellow house quite nicely.  It especially matches the part of the yellow house you painted red.  In case you ever get another wild hair up your ass and decide to repaint, might I advise NOT spray painting while the wind is gusting?  I'm sure you'll get that fixed up right away, it's only been three years.

6 -  The 10 foot by 30 foot fence you installed encompasses a hot tub, swimming pool, patio, and rotting jungle gym thing.  Well planned.  You have one foot of clearance around all items.  I bet your dog just LOVES all that free space to run around.  If you were to play fetch, the dog would have to run to the ball, pick it up in it's mouth, and walk backwards to bring it to you.  FUN!  But, since you're more worried about my dogs than yours, I never see you play with it, so no need to worry about that.

I might have considered paying the extra $50 to extend that fence out another 10 or so feet, but since you couldn't get the rider in there to mow, you probably made the best choice for yourself.

7 - You have a two car garage, yet one car in is the driveway and one is mostly in the street, parked facing the wrong way.  I say mostly because you tend to park in the yard.  At least you're in no danger of killing grass.  Instead of vehicles, you choose to fill the garage with the rider, a motorcycle badly in need of a muffler (I can hear that when you go cruising around the subdivision at two miles an hour so everybody can see how cool you are), and a treadmill/clothesline. 

I do appreciate when you hang your stars and stripes micro-thong speedo on it as opposed to being slung over the fence where I would have to see it - bet your wife can't get enough of you in that.  I know I threw up in my mouth when I saw you parading around with it on.  I have a long t-shirt I will gladly give to you, in case you feel like covering up.

Next year's swimsuit.

8 - Your mailbox, well, I guess there's nothing wrong with your mailbox.  Finally, I've found something you've done right. 

That's enough of that, for now.  On to the rest of your comment.  There are ten houses which form our inside circle of backyards.  I've spoken to eight of the other owners.  None of them have any issues.  Most of them have dogs, and one of them even apologized once she found out you called the cops as her cat "prances around the backyard antagonizing your dogs every chance she gets". 

Our next door neighbor's dog was outside the whole time they were today, four hours or so.  The neighbors next to us on the other side regularly leave their dogs out all day, and bark back and forth with mine while running along the fence line.  One other house has two new puppies and they are out in the mornings, evenings, and a lot on weekends.  The neighbors across the street from you have two dogs in their front yard all the time on a lead from a stake.  They barked for three hours yesterday when I was outside, yet no cops were called.  Interesting. 

You thought a stake in the ground which labeled vegetables was actually a grave marker for all the animals we've killed.

RIP tomato and carrot.  You were good dogs.

You thought our dogs were tied to a tree when in fact they are on a 30 foot dog run with a ten foot lead.

You thought buying a bikini four sizes too small would look good on you.

Based on your past thinking, you'll have to forgive me for not believing you can understand such abstract concepts as units of time.  I'm not sure you know what an hour is.  I know you don't know how long it takes for three hours to pass, as every time you call the cops you claim the dogs have been barking that long. 

Here's something we agree on - you don't understand three.

I rest my case.

PS - I would have loved to take pictures of all of these things at their house and post them, but I didn't want to run the risk of getting caught, so you'll just have to visualize.

I have a new phone number label in my cell phone

It's Stupid Neighbor.  I was going to name it something else, but I have enough entries under B already.

The saga began a few months ago, and you can read my wife's take on it here, while my view is here.

Two weeks ago, on a beautiful 70 degree day, at 6:30 PM, the cops showed up again.  Our wonderful neighbors called them out, again.  As I went to bring the dogs inside, I could see her out in their backyard.  She appeared to be antagonizing the dogs so they would be barking while the cops drove by.

This time, it turns out, they were having a party at their house and didn't want to be disturbed.  Of course they told the cops it was barking, but truth is only a minor detail - so easily overlooked.  We could have called the police back out due to the screaming and yelling as 40 year-old idiots did cannonballs into their 2.5 foot above ground pool, but decided not to.

I think this is what their pool might look like.

The cop also asked me not to go down there and say anything as the last time I did, she called them back and chewed them out.  She thought the officer told me who had called them.  Lovely woman.  I did him the favor of not going down there, and asked him to do me a favor and just call me next time to save a trip for himself.  He couldn't do that, so I wished him well, until next time.

This time, all I did was leave a note on their car, asking them to stop wasting the cops time and just call me if they had an issue.  I said it nicer than that, but it was the same message.

Today, she called me.  At NOON!  Our dogs have been outside for three hours, barking non-stop - according to her.  Actually, they have been outside most of the morning, but only started barking once the neighbors were out mowing their yard.

Apparently,

"We live in a very nice neighborhood and shouldn't have to put up with this.  All the neighbors are fed up with it.  Nobody else leaves their dogs out for three hours.  I can understand an hour, but not three."

I called Julia and she was in the middle of lunch with the the girls.  I called the neighbor back, informed her the problem would be taken care of and asked if she could give my wife ten minutes or so to finish the meal.  She said okay.  I also informed her the neighbors were outside mowing, which was causing the issue.  Their dog was also outside barking.  She said she knew they were out there.  I asked if she wanted me to call them and have their dog taken inside, and she said no.  I apologized again, thanked her for the call, and said we'd try to limit their time outside to smaller chunks.

I didn't mean any of it, but I thought it could do no harm to try and make her feel heard.  Turn the other cheek, smother it with love, or whatever you want to call it.  Maybe this will help the situation.  Maybe not. 

Giving them two cheeks is not the same as turning the other cheek.

With any luck, we'll be moving soon and this will all be behind us.

In the next post, I'm going to vent a bit.  I'll take her statements and lay out my case as to why she is wrong.  Should be a lot of fun.  At the very least, it will be therapeutic.

Who am I talking to?

Here is a quick list of things I find myself saying frequently at home:

No.

Sit.

Stay.

No.

Don't eat anything off the floor.

Don't eat grass.

No.

Don't touch the oven.

You need to sit on your bottom or lay down when you're on a chair.

No.

You're not supposed to be in this room.

Don't go to the bathroom there.

No.

Excuse you.

How about some kisses?

No.

Do you want to go outside?

Be quiet.

No.

Can you tell which comments are directed toward a dog and which ones are for children?  I'll give you a hint - anything in italics applies to both.

Probably not a good idea

There are some days when the girls refuse to want to do anything we propose.  All they do is yell "NO", cry, and attack one another.  Sometimes they attack Mama, but that doesn't end well for them.  Once, they attacked Papa.  It hasn't happened a second time.

I think I have the answer!

We have a wonderful dog run in the back yard.  For you city folk, a dog run is simply a pulley suspended on a cable, strung between two immovable objects - trees in our case.  Our two dogs seem to enjoy it immensely, so why wouldn't the girls?  Since we already have the line up, and a dual lead, all I need to do is figure out some way to hook the girls up.

They could then run back and forth, barking at the neighbors and playing in the rocks, all without fear of escape.  The area has plenty of shade, so all we'd need to do is set out a bowl of water in case they get thirsty.  What could go wrong? 

Obviously, trying to get the girls worn out with minimal effort on my behalf is the primary goal.  Making sure our crazy neighbors don't call the police is second, and safety is somewhere up there as well.

Here's what I've come up with so far:

1 - I could put them in a pair of jeans, and attach the lead to their belt loops.  Probably the best idea, but still it has drawbacks.  Strangulation, losing the children to the department of child and family services, and serious injury are just a few.  

2 - I could use the harnesses we have for taking the dogs on walks, when we used to take them on walks.  Scratch this one, the harness is too small. 

3 - Mama could sew a metal ring (see #10) into their jackets with her new sewing machine.  On second thought...

4 - I could just wrap the line around their waist and clip the lead to itself. 

Upon further review, unless any of you have a good idea for a safer connection, I've decided to pass on this.  While it seemed like a good idea when I started writing this, the possible bad outcomes outweigh the good one.

While the dogs have never been injured out there, they don't have opposable thumbs.  I'm sure my little Houdini girls would figure out a way to escape and roam the neighborhood.

Say what?

Our girls have never been Chatty Cathys.  They've more or less relied on sign language and pointing to get their point across.  Recently, there has been a bit of a change at our house.

One morning, as I got them out of bed, they said the usual "Papa, Papa".  The next morning, they were engaging me in conversation. 

They went from 15 words to 1,500 overnight it seemed.  How did that happen!  I haven't had my head buried in the sand, and I haven't been away from home. 

Here are a few of the conversations we've had, and an insight into what is was like just a week ago.

Me:  Hey Brynne, what do you think about breakfast for dinner?

The Brynne of old would nod her head in approval.

Brynne of now:  I like it!

Actually, we all love breakfast for dinner.   Who doesn't?

Me:  Hadley, can you tell your puppy dogs goodnight?

The Hadley of old would pant like a dog.

Hadley of now:  Good Win.  Nit Feee.

While getting in the car, no and tantrums have been replaced with "pak", as we head to the park.  Actually, they say this when we head anywhere - they REALLY love the park.

Going to church gets the response

"Abby, Gen, Toms"

clear references to her three friends Abby, Gwen and Thomas who will be there to play with them.

Throwing their hands in the air or pushing a plate off their tray, have been replaced with

"all done"

to signify the end of a meal.

We're not at the point where they can communicate everything they want, but I think we've made huge strides.  NO and tantrums still happen as there is still a certain level of frustration, but it's getting better.  Special kudos to Mama for all the work she does with them while I'm not around, and even when I am.

At least I can give up on trying to learn the signs they know.  Now, all I need is a translator or a toddler to english dictionary.

Mighty neighborly of ya!

Before you read the details I am about to provide, please hop over to my wife's blog and get the high level summary.  My post won't make any sense until you do that.

Ready?  OK!

When the 14 year old cop showed up and was very short with us, I gave him some lip back.  I'm not ordinarily like this with authority figures, but this guy was being a bit of a douchebag, pardon my language.

Isn't it past your bedtime?

He informed us he had been in the neighborhood for 10 or 15 minutes and that he hadn't heard the dogs much.  That was, until he parked in front of our house and came up to the door.  Then they were loud.  I politely explained the reason they were barking is because a stranger was coming to our door.  Isn't that what dogs do???

He had no answer for that, so I pushed on. 

I asked who called the police?  He wouldn't tell me.  Not couldn't tell me, but wouldn't.  I informed him, politely, that in case he missed the day in school where they talked about the Bill of Rights (or perhaps hadn't made it that far in school yet),  I have the right to face my accuser.  He said he wouldn't tell me who it was.  I asked again, since it is my right. He informed me that he would not be telling me who it was, but if I wanted to go to the police department next week I was free to do that.

After I was ignored when I asked again why he wouldn't tell me the name since it was my right, he proceeded to threaten me.  I was told if he received one more call tonight he would send us a ticket for an excessive dog barking violation. 

I could see this would not go anywhere with him, so I shut the door and brought the dogs into the garage, where they had to stay in their cages houses for a few hours.  Just for giggles, I checked the law.  It is possible to get a ticket for excessive barking, based on a nuisance clause.  There is not a definition of what qualifies for a nuisance, so I can only assume that if one person calls the police twice in a night that is enough.  It doesn't seem to matter that you've lived somewhere for five years, always had dogs, and never received so much as a complaint.  It also doesn't matter that no other neighbor has a problem with our dogs.  This was 7 PM - not 2 AM.

As we left for dinner, I stopped in at the neighbor that I thought was responsible.  They had not called the cops.  She hadn't even heard the dogs, and went a step farther in saying that even if they had been barking it would have been because her cat runs free and constantly antagonizes the dogs.  Also, she had seen the police next door, so I marched on over.

The lady answered the door on my third knock, and here is the conversation - pretty much word for word:

Me:  Hi, I'm Brad, I live behind you and you just called the cops on me because you said my dogs were barking too much.  I am sorry they bothered you, but going forward, if you ever have an issue with them I would appreciate it if you would just come to my door and let me know.  I'll take care of it without having to call the cops away from other more pressing duties.

I was polite.  I was apologetic.  I thought it was done.  I was wrong.

Her:  Your dogs have been outside for two hours and it's too cold out.

Me (a little stunned):  So the barking wasn't the issue?  Why wouldn't you have just come to me and said something?  My dogs love being outside and I can assure you if there was the slightest chance they were too cold I would have brought them in.

Her:  You have them tied to a tree, in this cold weather.  I just didn't want to see any more graves in your backyard.

At this point her husband joined her at the door.

Me:  My dogs are on a 30 foot dog run with a ten foot lead.  That gives them plenty of room to run around and exercise.  As for the graves, what are you talking about?

Her:  I can see those little white crosses in your backyard.  I'd never let my dogs out when it's this cold.

While it might have made me feel better, it wouldn't have helped.

Me (trying not to laugh in her face):  First off, those crosses aren't in my backyard - they are on my neighbor's property.  Second, those little crosses have the words "tomatoes", "cucumbers", and "peppers" written on them - I don't name my dogs after fruits and vegetables.  They are in a raised garden which is full of vegetables.  Finally, I appreciate your concern for my dogs, but since you don't know anything about them, what you would or would not do is not relevant. 

I don't think she knows the meaning of relevant and I probably should have used smaller words for her, but oh well.

Her, to her husband:  Don't you think it's too cold for dogs to be outside.

Her husband shrugs.

I introduce myself to him again, shake his hand, and ask him to please call me before calling the cops next time they have an issue with me.  I wanted to say "next time you think you know more about running my affairs than I do", but I'm pretty sure he had no idea she called the cops as he was not defending her or even supporting her, so I chose not to escalate this.

I can't wait for their dog to get out of their fenced-in yard again this summer as he is prone to do.  We'll still put it on our dog run, give it water on a 100 degree day, and return it to them when they get home as we've done in the past.  As much as I'd like to call animal control just to throw it in her face, I won't.  That would neither be the neighborly nor the Christian thing to do. 

I think I might still inform her that it is too hot for a dog to be running loose and that I'd never do that to my dogs - I guess we'll see. 

Maybe I'll put a gravestone in their front yard some night.

New adventures with Papa

Mama had her first sick day on Monday, as you may have read.

The girls and I spent an entire day together while Mama slept and recovered.  Here are a few new things they did.  Some of them are entirely new, while some of them are just new to me. 

We had a blast so I thought I'd share.

Folding the laundry - the girls worked on folding towels.  Mostly, this means I would show them how to do it and they would them destroy my work.  By the end of the allotted laundry time Hadley had folded a washcloth into a semi-square while Brynne kind of balled it up - they both looked roughly accurate so we put them away as they were.

Brynne does her own thing; Hadley at least watches me.

Putting the laundry away - Hadley would bring me a hanger, on which I would hang their clothes, and then she would put it in the closet.  At first, this meant putting it on the floor, but she soon learned how to hang them up and it went well.  Brynne, meanwhile, was in charge of the dresser.  I gave her a stack of folded pants.  She would then open the appropriate drawer, cram in the pants, and close the drawer before repeating the process a dozen times.  Some of the pants needed to be refolded, but for the most part they went in as she put them.  I only did some touch up work when the drawer wouldn't close.

Hadley perfecting her hanging skills

Why yes, that is a roll of tape in my mouth.  Why do you ask?

Not perfect, but not bad for under two.

Meals - The girls had lost some of their appetite recently and we've blamed it on the medicine.  They found it.  Breakfast was two pieces of PB and honey toast, two more pieces of cinnamon toast, half a banana, and two eggs.  That was just the solids!  They also had milk and OJ in large amounts.  Lunch and dinner were different foods, but the quantity was about the same.

Nap time - I have struggled with knowing when to put them down in the past.  Hadley helped me out on this one.  Brynne was trying to climb the stairs up from the basement and had managed to distract me while Hadley read a book.  When I got her under control, I looked over to find Hadley lying on the floor reading her book.  I called her name and she didn't reply.  I went to her and found her "resting her eyes" as my Grandma Jenkins used to say - that's the grandma they share a birthday with, so it works.  Pretty much, she fell asleep and wasn't in her crib or car seat - a first!

Couldn't get the pic before she woke up, but this is close

In case she hadn't made her point clear she made another move.  I came back to the changing room after putting Brynne down to find Hadley trying to put a swim diaper on over her other diaper.  Either she was: sleepy and confused as to what she needed to wear; ready for a dip in the pool on a 50 degree day; or alerting me that she had too much to drink.  As it turns out, the first and the third possibilities above were true.

Playing - Both the girls enjoyed rides in my old office chair around the basement.  Not too exciting for us old people, but for them it was a thrill. 

Not everything was good.  Hadley did manage to take a header off the couch and landed face first on the wood floor.  A few tears later she was fine.  Had it been Brynne, I'm sure we'd be looking at another black eye, but apparently Hadley has a little thicker skin.  Fortunately, landing on her head is probably about as safe as landing on her feet.

I also caught Brynne with one leg over the back of the couch trying to make it to the puppy dogs home.  She didn't get to them, but not for lack of trying.

Time to get back to work so I can catch up on a little R&R.

Looks like we'll need a bigger house

We (and when I use "we" I am mostly referring to myself) have been so fortunate since the girls were born.  Julia has not been sick one time.  Sure, she gets the occassional sniffle or cough, but nothing that has kept her down for long.

That all changed Sunday night. 

She had been feeling a little "off" over the weekend, but nothing major.  Then Sunday night came and brought with it some stomach pains.  No announcement here.  She's not pregnant and I doubt I'd be announcing it to the world through my blog anyway.  In case you are new to me, I am a fan of misdirection, so I hope the title threw you off a bit.

Lesson here for anyone willing to hear it - be careful what you wish for.

Julia was sitting on the bed and said "I wish I would just throw up so I'd feel better".

Hadley then started coughing in her crib.  I went to get her since it sounded like a cough that might lead to vomitting.  I got her halfway to the cool night air (in an effort to let the coldness ease her breathing and stop the coughing fit) when she let loose a spray of milk, medicine, and spinach artichoke dip.

Looks the same coming out as it does going in

Thankfully, most of it ended up on me.  What wasn't on me was quickly cleaned by the dogs.  After we spent some time outside and she was breathing more normally I took her back in to clean her up.  She sat with Mama for a minute while I dug up some clean clothes.

As I returned to our room Hadley was sitting alone on the bed.  I couldn't smell the vomit on her, but Mama did.  The smell was strong enough to grant her wish.

A variation of the last post about me being sick

I have always appreciated how much she does for the girls during the day, but I never had to swap places with her before.  Man, it is not easy.

Sure, I was operating on only four hours sleep and had a list of things to do while the girls took their afternoon nap so I couldn't rest then, but what a day it was. 

Don't get me wrong, I loved hanging out with my girls.  Mama, apparently, has mastered the ability to let the girls play on their own and even encourages it.  I, however, was their constant source on entertainment.  They always had a book for me to read - eight or nine times in a row - or a toy to play with (and sometimes I was their big toy) or steps to keep them from climbing.

We would play for an hour.  Then I would check the clock and see only fifteen minutes had passed.  I swear the sun set and rose twice between breakfast and lunch.

Good old Flavor Flav

I made a mental list of all the things they did and shared them with Julia.  Of course, she had already seen most all of these things, but there were a few new ones. More to come on that Friday.

The worst part was the weather.  It was rainy and dreary outside so we couldn't even go to the park or a tennis court.

I can only wish the next time this day comes, and I am sure it will, the weather is a little more cooperative.

What does the future hold for Brynne?

In looking back at some old pics of the girls I see some possible careers for them.  Today we'll go through Brynne's.


Photographer

  

Rambo, or Rambette

Farmer

  

WNBA player - assuming it's still around

Gardener

  

Race car driver (or superhero)

Supervisor



Mama

 

Ballerina



Mechanic



Fan of Devo



Veterinarian



Veterinarian again



Escape Artist - before





Escape Artist - after



 Guess we'll just have to wait and see.