Fury and Fun, Part 1

Mama had battled the girls all day since they didn't sleep well the night before and failed to take a nap.

After a long, sleepless night, I had battled through a long, sleepless day at work and a commute that took twice as long as it should have.

When I walked in the door, all I wanted was to change clothes, grab a glass of brandy, and relax for a few minutes.  By the time I got halfway to the door, I realized that was not going to happen.  I could hear the cries of the little ones and knew it had probably been going on all day.  I did my best to put on a happy face, but it quickly faded.

When screaming blows out a window, you know you're in for a rough night.

The girls could only fuss, whine, and cry from the moment I walked in the door at 5:05.  They wanted me to pick them up.  There was nothing I could do to appease them.  Dinner was more frustrating than I can ever remember it being in the past as they continued their exhausted antics.  I'd made their favorite foods and they were rejecting them. 

Almost nothing was eaten.  We had several discipline issues.  An entire cup of milk was "accidentally" spilled on me and the floor.  They finally left the table, only to start fighting with each other as I tried to do some clean up.  Screaming, pulling (and tearing) clothes, and more tears were all I saw and heard as I walked into the room.  Fortunately, I was just in time to prevent one of them from biting the other.  This hadn't been an issue for quite some time, but here it was.

I snapped.  I raised my voice louder than I needed to, but I wanted to stun them as I made my way over to the open mouthed one.  I grabbed them and pulled them apart.  They both got disciplined for their part in the battle.  The spilt milk was still on the floor, so they were given the ultimatum:  sit here quietly and read, or suffer the consequences.

It was only 6:30.  I didn't know how I was going to make it until 7:30 without losing my cool.  As I was on my hands and knees, trying to get all the milk off the floor and sop it up from the gaps between the wood planks of the floor, Hadley patted me on the back.  She and Brynne were standing there, with big smiles. 

They were disobeying again, and seemed so pleased to be doing it.  Walking into the kitchen, and right through the milk, was not what I told them to do.  I began to stand up and begin the discipline process, when Hadley spoke up

"Papa, can we help you clean the milk?"

My heart melted.  Until this point, I hadn't seen the wad of Kleenex in each of their hands.  I'll never know which one of them came up with the idea, but I don't care.  The anger/fury/whatever you want to call it which had been building inside of me since the moment I walked through the door was gone instantly.  We finished cleaning the milk and I decided we needed to make the best of the remaining 45 minutes we had together tonight.

The usual actions of reading books, doing puzzles, or playing with toys weren't appealing to me, so what did we do?

Come back next time to hear all about it.  It might just be the best thing ever.

Caught in the act

Hadley rarely gets disciplined.  Brynne, well, let's just say she doesn't get away with much of anything.
Based on that statement, you might think Hadley is an angel and Brynne is a demon.  You're wrong if you're thinking that.  They're both demons, but Hadley is sneaky.  I assume anyone with children has this same issue, so I'll add my foolproof methods to catching the sneaky demon child in the act.

It felt like this when it happened to me, but I can now see the other side of it.

Here are a few scenarios and the corresponding actions to take as a parent:

SCENARIO:  It's nap time.  We can hear the squeaking of the springs in their beds as they jump up and down - a clear violation of rules.  When Julia goes into the room to check on them, she finds Hadley laying down with her eyes closed and Brynne bouncing.  We know they were each jumping, as we can identify the unique sounds their beds make, but Hadley is laying there quietly.

SOLUTION - Burst through the door and don't give Hadley a chance to lay down.  The only downfall is she tries to move quicker, usually resulting in her cracking her head against the side of the bed.  It might be difficult (for the parent) to discipline a child who is already crying, but I know she's faking it and hoping it will get her out of trouble.  Nice try little demon!

SCENARIO:  They're playing in the living room.  We can hear them calling for Winnie and Fiona.  As we enter the room we find Brynne standing on the couch, looking over the back at the dogs, while Hadley is sitting down, trying to look all innocent.  Sometimes, she's gone so far as to have a book in her lap.

SOLUTION:  Since they don't do this when we're in the room, I go outside.  Then, when I look in the window I can clearly watch her.  Someday, she'll figure out I can see inside, but for now, she is oblivious.

SCENARIO:  In most sports, the retaliation penalty is called, but not the initial foul.  Both girls are good at inflicting the first blow covertly.  Hadley can make the payback appear to be accidental contact, such as stumbling into her sister and knocking her down, or swinging a toy without looking to see if anyone or anything is in the vicinity.  Brynne, on the other hand, is just a bulldozer.  You could put a brick wall between them and she'd go all Kool-Aid man on it to get at her sister.

I think the Kool-Aid man is using steroids, not a sugary drink, to get his energy and rage.

SOLUTION:  Not every scenario has a good solution.  Sometimes you just can't catch it all.  Unless we see the first shot, or unless there is evidence of it (bite marks, a hand print, etc.), we might have to let it go.  Soon, the girls will be able to tell us exactly what was done to them, but for now, we are stuck guessing.