Fury and Fun, Part 1

Mama had battled the girls all day since they didn't sleep well the night before and failed to take a nap.

After a long, sleepless night, I had battled through a long, sleepless day at work and a commute that took twice as long as it should have.

When I walked in the door, all I wanted was to change clothes, grab a glass of brandy, and relax for a few minutes.  By the time I got halfway to the door, I realized that was not going to happen.  I could hear the cries of the little ones and knew it had probably been going on all day.  I did my best to put on a happy face, but it quickly faded.

When screaming blows out a window, you know you're in for a rough night.

The girls could only fuss, whine, and cry from the moment I walked in the door at 5:05.  They wanted me to pick them up.  There was nothing I could do to appease them.  Dinner was more frustrating than I can ever remember it being in the past as they continued their exhausted antics.  I'd made their favorite foods and they were rejecting them. 

Almost nothing was eaten.  We had several discipline issues.  An entire cup of milk was "accidentally" spilled on me and the floor.  They finally left the table, only to start fighting with each other as I tried to do some clean up.  Screaming, pulling (and tearing) clothes, and more tears were all I saw and heard as I walked into the room.  Fortunately, I was just in time to prevent one of them from biting the other.  This hadn't been an issue for quite some time, but here it was.

I snapped.  I raised my voice louder than I needed to, but I wanted to stun them as I made my way over to the open mouthed one.  I grabbed them and pulled them apart.  They both got disciplined for their part in the battle.  The spilt milk was still on the floor, so they were given the ultimatum:  sit here quietly and read, or suffer the consequences.

It was only 6:30.  I didn't know how I was going to make it until 7:30 without losing my cool.  As I was on my hands and knees, trying to get all the milk off the floor and sop it up from the gaps between the wood planks of the floor, Hadley patted me on the back.  She and Brynne were standing there, with big smiles. 

They were disobeying again, and seemed so pleased to be doing it.  Walking into the kitchen, and right through the milk, was not what I told them to do.  I began to stand up and begin the discipline process, when Hadley spoke up

"Papa, can we help you clean the milk?"

My heart melted.  Until this point, I hadn't seen the wad of Kleenex in each of their hands.  I'll never know which one of them came up with the idea, but I don't care.  The anger/fury/whatever you want to call it which had been building inside of me since the moment I walked through the door was gone instantly.  We finished cleaning the milk and I decided we needed to make the best of the remaining 45 minutes we had together tonight.

The usual actions of reading books, doing puzzles, or playing with toys weren't appealing to me, so what did we do?

Come back next time to hear all about it.  It might just be the best thing ever.

Change

Aside from two recent(ish) reposts from a year ago, I haven't been doing too much writing, as you may have noticed.  Now that a few items have been crossed off my list, I hope to get back into it. 

What are those things I crossed off my list?  Glad you asked.

Minor item 1:  New house

We had a house under contract for six months, just waiting to sell our old one as we didn't want to have two mortgages at once.  As we found out later, someone else was going to make an offer on our new house, which we couldn't have matched, but they were a day late in getting it put together. 

Even though it's 150 years old, it's new to us!

Minor item 2:  The move

We were supposed to have 24 hours to move everything we owned from one house to the other.  Even though they are only 10 minutes apart at most, it still would've required a small miracle.  We ended up getting three days to move, though it was basically done in two.

Minor item 3:  The post move

Now that we're in, the original list of things we need to do has grown.  The structure of the house is solid, and we're trying as much as possible to keep the integrity of the house by not making sweeping renovations/updates, but there are so many items the previous owners just didn't keep up with.  Every day I find more things to put on my list.  At least I like lists!  The only thing we need to upgrade that we can't live without in the Midwest is air conditioning, so that will be added this spring.

See those houses way off in the background?  Those are some of our closest neighbors.

In case you're new to reading me, forgot about my history with a neighbor, or just wanted to reread it, please check out the posts here, here, and here to see why the caption above makes me so happy.

My to do list for outside work just got a little bigger as well.

Minor item 4:  Ruby

Less than two weeks after moving homes, Mama was hard at work moving Ruby from the womb to the real world.  Papa is proud to present his third little lady, Ruby Edith, being held by her very excited sisters.

One born on 1/3, two born on 2/3.  Should be easy to remember.

Even though she was the biggest baby we've had (yet), people think she looks so little when I hold her.  I have to remind them I am 25 times her size.  The girls are only three to four times her size. 

It is funny, though, that due to the long hours for everything, the stress of everything, and the lack of time available to eat, my weight has gone by the equivalent of two of her since she was born.

Hurray stress!

Christmas Confession

Here's another holiday repeat from last year.  Hope you enjoy it!

I would think it's safe to say that everyone who celebrates Christmas has Christmas memories.  Some are good, some are bad, but all are memories.  Thanks to This Daddy's Blog post for getting me thinking about the past and remembering what I am about to confess.

The jury is out on this one.

When I was young, I was sneaky.  If you've read any of my vacation posts, you've probably realized this is not the confession.  I need to build a little anticipation here, so I'll drag it out as long as I can. 

Back in the day I was one of those kids that went hunting through the house to find my presents.  I thought I knew all the hiding places my parents used.  Actually, I did know most of them at one point. 

I'm not sure if they got wise to my hunting skills, just started mixing it up on their own, or if they forgot where their hiding spots were, but at some point I stopped finding all of my presents early.  This is probably because they started wrapping the gifts as soon as they got them, which leads me to believe they were onto me. 

The only exception to this was the big gifts.  Those I almost always found, until they started hiding them at other people's houses.  Even at a young age I wasn't willing to risk a breaking and entering charge to find my presents, so they were off limits to me.

What is a mischievous kid supposed to do in that instance when all the fun of hunting is taken out of the holiday season? 

Here's what I did - I found ways to be alone with the presents. 

Sometimes I:

1 - faked an illness so I could stay home from school. 

2 - played upstairs by the tree while the rest of the family was downstairs. 

3 - came home early from a friend's house when I thought our house would be empty.

4 - grabbed a present and took it to the bathroom.

5 - grabbed a present, hid it in my room, and got up in the middle of the night to check it out.

Sounds like someone had to try to figure out what he was getting before Christmas morning, doesn't it?

I never tried to figure them out. 

I simply unwrapped them, saw what I was getting, rewrapped them ever so carefully (being sure the paper that pulled off with the tape went back exactly where it came from), and put them back under the tree.

My work was much better than this.  Amateur.

There's the confession.  I'm sure my mom and dad are going to love finding this little nugget out like this!

Why would I open presents early?  I have no idea. 

Maybe I wanted to string out Christmas over the course of a few weeks instead of just one morning.  Maybe I just had to know what I was getting so I could plan out my morning in advance.  Maybe, just maybe, I did it because I wasn't supposed to.

I'd put all my money on that last choice if I were you.

New talents

I was speaking with my mother the other day and she asked if the girls were trying to climb out of bed yet.  I told her no, but they have been trying to climb into bed.  They have yet to be successful because of the way their cribs are built.

With Julia out of town last week, I prepared the new baby's room.  The crib we have for the new baby is not built the same.  I really didn't give it too much thought as I assumed the girls wouldn't mess with it.

I was in the room with them while they were picking up.  The buzzer on the oven went off, so I went to get my lunch out.  When I walked back in 30 seconds later, I was greeted by this.

They are quicker than I thought.

Actually, this was about five seconds later as I had to grab the camera.  What I saw when I entered the room was Brynne straddling the crossbar.  She said

"Please pull me up sister."

Hadley moved to help her just as she fell into the crib.

Looks like I'll have to turn the crib around or find some way to toddler proof it.

Changing the lyrics to fit my needs

OPP, how can I explain it
I'll take you frame by frame it
To have y'all jumpin' shall we be signin' it
O is for Only, P is for Pee/Poop scratchin' temple
The last P...well...that's not so simple
It's sorta like another way to call an outhouse a toilet
It's five little letters that are missin', see it
You sit on it on occasion when you're doing all your trainin'
It seems I need to start the explainin'
Bust it

You know the feelin' when you really just gotta go
And so you sit right down but nothin' at all will flow
You run to potty and sit there but nothin' comes on out
Then you stand up and spray around just like a water spout
It could come from the F to the R to the O to the N to the T
And when that happens it's what we like to call pee pee
But then at times it comes out from the other side
And when that happens all you do is try to run and hide
You leave a "big ole mess" right there in your underwear
And at this point your screaming cause you just don't care

You down with OPP
Only Pee/Poop on the Potty
You down with OPP
No, not really
You down with OPP
Not necessarily
Who's down with OPP
Workin' on Brynne and Hadley

We pump you full of liquids and all the fiber we can
Starting this week we had ourselves a great idea and plan
This three day potty training thing is supposed to work
We follow you around, you might even say we lurk
We need to catch you before you go in you drawers
Because we know it will end up on our nice wood floors
Please little ladies I really wish you would get it down
So Mama's not stuck in the house and can go to town
We hope very soon you will be able to give us hints
Until then we only pray for strength, wisdom, and patience.

You down with OPP
Only Pee/Poop on the Potty
You down with OPP
No, not really
You down with OPP
Not necessarily
Who's down with OPP
Workin' on Brynne and Hadley

So far, potty training sucks.

Go figure

Four weeks ago, Hadley starting throwing a HUGE temper tantrum every time we announced it was time to take a bath.  She would wail, cry, gnash her teeth, and even tear her sack cloth.  There was nothing new about bath.  She hadn't almost drowned or anything epic like that, and we hadn't made any changes to the routine.

The funny thing was, she was over enthusiastic to go to the pool, but bath was now out of the question.  She still didn't want to sit in the pool, even though the water was only a foot deep, all she wanted to do was play in the water and dump it out of the pool.

Two weeks ago, we went for the first time to our friend's "big girl" pool, which is about four feet deep.  To get in the pool the girls had to use floaties on their arms.  She hated them.  Obviously, she was not trusting them to keep her head above water as she clung to me like she was an extra limb. 

She does, however, like to do things bigger kids do.  She'll be almost as fearless as Brynne when it comes to doing those things.  She saw the other older children using the floaties, swimming, floating, and sitting in the floating chairs.  She immediately was fine with the floaties, but had to be in the chair. 

Once she was in the chair, she wanted to lean forward and blow bubbles in the water.  Sometimes, she dunked under just a bit, but came up smiling.

Flash forward two weeks.  Now, she can't wait to get in the tub.

She holds herself up by her hands, moving back and forth, informing us she is swimming or floating.  She slipped a bit, dunked her head under water, and came up coughing/gasping for breath.  We thought the love of bathing was now over, but we were wrong.  Once she knew she was OK, she was again all smiles and went back to swimming.

Brynne, on the other hand, continues to be fearless.  She went into the big pool and wanted to be passed back and forth, free to kick her legs to move, either unaware or just not concerned with not being able to touch the bottom of the pool. 

Nearly every day she asks about Abby's pool.

You know you're tired when...

1 - you wonder why your mouse isn't working, until you realize you've grabbed your cell phone and are trying to use that to manipulate your computer.

but my mouse is wireless

2 - the phone rings, you pick it up, nobody is on the other end, and it keeps ringing. Meaning, you picked up your cell phone when the office phone was ringing.

another way to fail using the phone

3 - you find yourself in a 30 minute conversation with the most annoying person in your office and you are okay with it because it keeps you from falling asleep at your desk.

Yes, Milton, I'm still listening

4 - you have to touch your eyeball to see if you did, in fact, remember to put in your contacts that morning.

bet he doesn't have this problem

5 - you try not to blink because reopening your eyes seems like too much work.

a much better solution

6 - you hang up a call rather than be put on hold because the elevator music they're playing might put you to sleep.

7 - you take two hours to realize you never turned on the light in your office.

I suppose that's enough light to work by

8 - you start eating lunch and then realize it's only 9 AM.

whatever

9 - the funniest thing you've heard all day is the guy in the office next to you repeating "hello" 35 times before deciding something is wrong with the caller's phone. Actually, it was 35 times over four different calls...I counted.

apparently not

10 - you count the number of times the guy in the office next to you says hello before hanging up.

11 - you catch yourself doing the sleeping head bob, while in the restroom.

at least he's not on the toilet

12 - you find yourself mentally measuring the space under your desk and wondering if you could nap there without anyone finding out.

sadly, the answer is no

13 - you've managed to finish a Mountain Dew before anyone else is even in the office.

I can't wait for the sugar high to wear off, maybe then I'll sleep

All of this happened to me the other morning so I thought I'd share it - and because I haven't had a good list post in quite some time. 

Go ahead, laugh at me.  I'm not sure I'll even know what's going on if this keeps up.

Jealous much?

It's 3 AM. I haven't been able to fall asleep yet. Tossing and turning in bed, I listen to the noises around me. The air conditioner cycles on and off for the millionth time. When it goes off, I imagine it is actually going to sleep. The dogs, comfortably asleep in their houses - at our home we call their cages houses to sound more animal friendly - turn over. There are some crickets outside my window, but everything else is asleep. Julia rolls over, still sound asleep. I can tell Brynne just rolled over by the squeak in her crib. Since she made no other sound, I know she is sacked out.  

Can I get an AMEN!

Then I hear it.

All done sleeping. 
All done sleeping. 
All done sleeping. 
All done sleeping. 
All done sleeping. 
ALL DONE SLEEPING!

It's not the voices in my head, this time.  Apparently, Hadley is all done sleeping. 

I go into her room and she is standing in her crib.  When she sees me in the low light, she throws her hands in the air and then whispers (so as not to wake her sister)

All done sleeping.

I pick her up and take her back to our room, explaining to her it is too early to be done sleeping.  When I ask why she is all done, she informs me

I'm cold.

I lay her in our bed and go to switch their air conditioner to a warmer setting.  When I return, she is laying with her head on my pillow, under the covers, fast asleep.  It took all of 13 seconds.

I crawl into bed next to her and just watch her (and Julia) sleep.  So peaceful.  So sweet.  So out of it. 

Why can't I sleep like this?  Why can't I be asleep before my head hits the pillow?

I try to wake her up to take her back to her room, but she won't stir.  Finally, she opens her eyes and smiles at me and says 

Hadley sleepy.

I scoop her up, give her a little kiss on the forehead, and carry her back to bed.  When I go to lay her down she once again tells me

All done sleeping.

Since she's yawning as she says this I don't believe her.  Once again, she's out immediately.

I, meanwhile, go back to lay in my bed, still wide awake.  When the clock hits 4:30 AM I get up and go work out.

Perhaps I should move to Brooklyn.

Just another day with no sleep for Papa.  YAY!  At least everyone else got to rest.  I'll just have to catch up on my sleep at the office.  I know I'll get tired right as my day starts.

Let's get this done ASAP

It's official, after eight counter offers we've got our (hopefully) forever house under contract.  Yes, you read that right.  It took eight counter offers (over the course of 10 weeks) to come to a price both sides could agree on. 

During this time, we've been cleaning our house, putting things in storage, and generally just getting it ready to go on the market.  I've been wondering if all those late nights and storage rental costs were going to be well spent, and it turns out they were.

The less time I see this sign in the yard, the happier I will be.

Our house went on the market Wednesday morning.  We spent about an hour Tuesday night doing some last minute rearranging of the furniture (more on that to come later) and figured we'd have time over the weekend to do another thourough cleaning. 

Thursday, we received notice about noon we had a showing that night at 6:30.  We also found out someone else drove by and called in about it and a third person wants to see it Friday.

So much for cleaning this weekend!

Back to Thursday,  We busted our humps getting the last remaining details ready, which included me doing some yard work when it was 108.  At least it was a dry heat.  HA!  Once it gets over 100, I don't care if it's dry or not, it's still hot.

Our listing agreement says no visits during naptime and people must be out of the house by 7.  Our first showing was going to throw our schedule off.

Julia made a call and our friends graciously allowed us to bring our girls, and my parents who were in for the day, over to their house to swim, take a bath (just the girls - I assume my parents showered at their hotel), eat, and hang out.

I'm sure we could've gone swimming at the neighbor's, but we decided against asking them.

As we were headed home to put the girls down at about 7:10, I got a phone call from our relator.  The people were running behind schedule and wanted to see if they could come around 7:30 instead.  We hesitantly agreed, but said they had to be sure they would be there at that time. 

They couldn't, so they said they'd reschedule.

I know if we want to sell the house quickly, we need to be as flexible as possible.  We don't mind that to a certain extent.  It is difficult, however, not to be upset when you do everything you can and nobody walks through the house.

I was a bit frustrated we had to do everything we did to accomodate a showing that never happened. On the other hand, I was very pleased the girls took the change of schedule in stride and that we got to hang out with friends during the week - a rarity.

A week away from home

I've been gone for a week, which is why I haven't posted much.  Here are a few observations from the week on the road:

Most shower heads hit me right about chest high - that's where they come out of the wall.  One hotel shower this week was actually about seven feet high.  It was wonderful, but I'm guessing not many people could take advantage of the adjustable flows as the control for it was another six inches higher. 

This is the typical shower head placement from above, and the shower curtain height from below.

I'm sure housekeeping didn't like all the water on the floor of the bathroom, but if you're going to install the shower head that high, you probably ought to go ahead and raise the level of the shower curtain to greater than five feet six inches.  If I can look out over the curtain, it's probably not a good thing.

If you are driving a shuttle, and looking for tips, I have one for you.  You didn't help the 65 year old woman load her large suitcase onto the shuttle, so I did.  Don't stand there with your hand out when I get off.  I should've taken money out of your jar and slapped you when you looked annoyed (with your hand outstretched and palm up) as I walked past you.

Ever wonder why some companies are not as profitable as they could be?  Here's a perfect example.  My co-worker and I had a few drinks and an appetizer at the restaurant in the hotel.  I had them charge the bill to my room on two different nights.  When I went to checkout, only the second night appeared on the bill.  Also, the soda and water I had charged directly to the room from the lobby didn't make it onto the bill.  I informed the front desk they were missing those two charges and they said "looks like you got free drinks".  I feel good that I tried to pay for the services I used, but I wonder how often this happens and how many times a $50 bill just gets written off.

Hotel beds are almost always too short.


Even sleeping diagonally I didn't have room to stretch out.

Toddlers change so much more when you're gone for a few days than they would have had you been there.

Even when I try to schedule a time to talk with Julia, something comes up on one end so we end up talking in the wee hours of the morning.  We're then both exhausted the next day with no chance to nap.

Coming home takes twice as long as it does to get there. 

The time away lasts twice as long as the time at home does.

It's impossible to eat healthy on the road and the "gyms" hotels advertise rarely live up to their billing.  I wouldn't necessarily consider an 8X8 room with a treadmill, one five pound dumbbell and a set of 10 pound ones a "workout facility".  Oh, and it is tough to swim laps in a 10X10 pool.

Sharing makes sister happy

Both girls still have a bink with them when they sleep, though Brynne has one with her about 60% of the time she's awake.  She will chew on that thing fiercely, putting holes in it in less than a week.

Last night, as we were getting ready for bed, I noticed the tip of it was almost chewed off.  We've run through our supply so had no reservists to call into active duty.  I had three options: let it go, and hope she didn't chew it off in the middle of the night which could lead to a choking hazard; take it away, and be subjected to long bouts of screaming; or tear off the end and see what happened.

I chose to tear off the end.

Bad decision.

She immediately started sobbing and wailing.  "PINK BINK BOO BOO!"  I carried her into bed, fighting her the whole way as she thrashed about.  I set her down, and she stood right up, continuing to let me know what was wrong.  Julia called for me to bring the bink back.

As I entered the changing room, she was smiling.  Hadley was sitting there holding her own green bink, saying "Geen bink, Bynne."

I exchanged binks with her, took the green one to Brynne, and the world was once again right. 

Hadley took the pink bink to bed and just held it in her hand as she usually does with the green one.

Both girls dropped off to sleep with no fussing and the slept soundly.

Everything was wonderful - until this morning.

When I got them out of bed and turned on the lights, Brynne erupted.  In the dark room she had not realized the switcharoo, or had forgotten about it.  As soon as she saw herself holding the green bink, she wanted her pink one. 

Hadley swapped with her gladly.  But then she noticed the damaged pink bink in her hand and went ape shit.

I assured her the situation would be rectified before bed tonight, and that seemed to appease her a bit, but not completely.

Looks like I'm off to Target today to get another replacement, and a back up or twelve.  Someday soon she'll be done with them, but until that day comes, we'll keep replacing the destroyed binks as necessary.

Too nice?

I'm talking about the weather. 

It has been unseasonably warm just about everywhere this year.  After a short winter, we were all ready to get outside and enjoy it.  We kept thinking:

"This is it.  Today is the last of the good weather.  We need to get the girls out and enjoy it."

The foul was well-behaved, until he attacked.  And then Mama screamed.

Then the forecast would be updated and we'd be in store for a few more beautiful days.  The next set of bad weather would be announced, so naturally we needed to be outside while we could.

Then the forecast would change again and we'd  be blessed with more great days.

We'll continue to be outside, so my posts will probably continue to be spread out some. 

Hope you're enjoying it as much as we are!

30 minutes after he attacked, the girls forgave the bird...but kept their distance.

I love it when they hold hands without any prompting.

Pure Genius

We were not looking forward to the time change - again.  It seems like it has never been easy to transition the girls smoothly, though we have tried both doing it gradually and ripping the band aid off.

This year looked to be especially bad as we were slated to work the nursery at church, which meant not only would we all lose an hour of sleep for daylight savings, but we would have to get them up earlier so we could make it on time.  The day showed signs of being the perfect storm.

Flavor Flav, Mayor of the time change.

Thanks to a bit of luck, and a stroke of genius if I do say so myself, it went off without any problems whatsoever.

Both girls woke up Saturday morning an hour before they normally would have.  I got up with them, changed them into their clothes for the day and started to feed them breakfast. 

As they were eating, I noticed the clock behind them.  I went ahead and sprung it one hour forward.  I then went around and did the rest of the clocks in the house. 

We became trendsetters.  Before anyone else in the country, I presume, had moved their clocks forward, we were doing just that.  I was sure the rest of the country that participated in the time change would follow suit, and sure enough, they did.   

Lunch was an hour early, and so was nap time.  Dinner, bath, and bedtime all came early.

When Sunday morning came early, it was no different than any other day we worked the nursery.

I will admit, it was very strange having all our clocks "wrong", but in the end, our ability to remember we were operating on a slightly different time zone paid huge dividends for us.  I doubt we'll be able to repeat the performance in the future, but we'll take it this time.

Snowmageddon

I'm going to be neither the first nor the last to post about meteorologists, but this was just too bad to pass up.

Lat year, we were expecting a HUGE snowfall.  The weather people all called it Snowmageddon, and we were expecting to get somewhere around a foot of snow.  I'm always leery of their predictions to start, but we took the necessary precautions just in case.  They all combined to do a great job of scaring the crap out of the general public.  Schools were cancelled days in advance.  No food or gas was to be found within a forty mile radius.  Everyone was prepared for the worst - and then it hit.

Not so much.

Snowmageddon produced a grand total of two inches of snow.

Flash forward to this weekend.

As of Friday we were told to expect between two and four inches of snow on Monday.

Saturday's forecast changed that slightly.  We were only going to get less than an inch of accumulation.

Sunday brought yet another change.  The local weather seer actually said we would get three and a half inches, but then quickly changed her tune and gave an estimate of one to four inches of the white stuff.

What kind of a range is one to four inches?  If you're going to predict precisely three and a half inches, why would you then give an estimate of one to four? 

That's right!  I nearly forgot.  Meteorologists have the only job in the world where you don't have to be close to accurate.  Actually, it seems like they are expected to be incredibly vague. 

The end of the world is here!  More details at 10.

I realize the weather can change very quickly, but how difficult is it to see what happened in the towns to your west, where the storm that is going to hit you just left, and make a prediction based on that?

If your mechanic tells you your brakes should last between three weeks and four years, you'd probably get a second opinion.  The same goes for a doctor telling you to take between one and four pills a day to cure whatever ails you. 

Unfortunately, in the weather predicting field, you can't get a second opinion.  Nobody wants to be the one that got it wrong, so they all say the same thing. 

Based on their latest predictions, I'm going to make my own estimate.  Either we get less than an inch or more than six. 

Even though I've had no training, I feel pretty good about my prediction. 

RESULTS:

In the end, we got less than one inch of snow at my house.  Ridiculous.

Figure it out

When I was young I just loved the gameshow "Bumper Stumpers".  To me and my crazy little brain it was a puzzle I needed to figure out.  I still like puzzles, so everytime I get behind a car with a personalized plate I try to figure out what it says.

Man I loved this show.

I'd love to get a personalized plate with letters that combine to produce no words - just to see keep other people on their toes if they do the same thing.

Recently, with the help of two little jabbering girls, I've discovered another game.  I like to call it "What are they saying?"

Let's see how good you are at figuring these out.  The answers are at the end.

1.  Ideeda

2. Shhh oudida 

3.  Lied osh

4.  Baba shhh

5. Ablutobusta

Sometimes the game ends when I yell to Mama and ask what they are saying.  More often than not, I am calling for Mama to translate the sign they are giving me in conjunction with their speech.  I was doing well with their signs until they got to know hundreds of them.  To me, every color other than red looks the same - shake a finger or two. 

They're supposed to look like this, but with toddlers, they all look the same to me.

I've not completely given up on sign language, but I do often find myself asking them to use their words - even if they don't have words for what they're trying to say yet.

Here are the answers to the pop quiz:

1 - I see it.  Brynne couldn't find her baby so I told her it was behind the couch.  She walked over, said Ideeda, pointed to baby, and picked her up.

2 - Let's put my shoes on and go outside, or shoes outside for short.

3 - Turn the light off or on.

4 - Be quiet, the baby is sleeping.  Another form of this is Mama shhh.  Obvioulsy this is used when I get them up in the morning and Mama is not seen.  Typically, they also put their finger to their mouth to reinforce what is meant.

5 - I have no idea.  That's not what they are saying, that's my failure to translate.  I tell myself I've still won the game and this means nothing.  Guess we'll see.

How'd you do?  Any phrases your little ones use you'd like to share?

Torn

During the first six months of our girls' lives they didn't sleep well.  That's an understatement.  They cat napped at times during the day, and did basically the same at night.  Nobody in our house slept longer than an hour or two at a time with any consistency.

After visiting the baby whisperer (our nickname for the sleep specialist) we finally put the poor sleeping habits to bed.  Please forgive me for the pun.  I am a little slap happy after no sleep last night.  I thought it was punny, so I'm leaving it.

Our sleep specialist's name might have been Brooklyn.

I love it now that they sleep from 7 PM to after 7 AM every night/morning. 

I love it that they take a couple hour nap in the afternoon. 

I loved being home to get them up in the morning when they would wake before 7.

Yes, that is past tense.  They are sleeping in until after I leave now.  I rarely get to see all my girls in the morning before I head out to work. 

I miss walking into their room and hearing them excitedly say "Papa, Papa!". 

I miss scooping them up for hugs and kisses. 

I even miss changing them so Mama doesn't have to.

I've considered making a loud noise or just walking into their room to wake them up some mornings.  I don't do that as it would be incredibly selfish and unfair to everyone but me.  But I still think about it.

Not cool when Mama and kiddos are sleeping.

Is it wrong that I sometimes secretly wish they would wake up on their own early enough for me to greet them?

No means no...or does it?

We've all heard the statement "NO MEANS NO".  While it has a serious meaning, it has also become a punchline in many situations.  I contend it doesn't always hold true.  Here is my supporting argument.

Conversation from dinner the other night:

Me:  Hadley, do you want some more to eat?

Hadley:  No. 

Me:  Are you done eating?

Hadley:  No.

Me:  I'm confused.  Are you done eating or do you want something else?

Hadley:  No.

Me:  Is no the only thing you are going to say?

Hadley:  No.

Me:  Then are you going to say something else?

Hadley:  No.

Me:  I think we're done here.

Hadley:  No.

Me:  HEY!!!  How about a big girl bite of chicken?

Hadley:  Sure.

The point is this:  my girls have a limited vocabulary.  I think they don't completely mean to say no, but they can't yet say to me:

Dearest Papa, I would really enjoy a bite of chicken, dipped in BBQ sauce, followed by some sweet potato fries, dipped in BBQ sauce, and all washed down with a cold swig of milk.

Someday we'll get there.  Until that day comes, I'm stuck asking the same question eight different ways to try to find out what is really going on.

Father of the Year? Nope

Have you ever had one of those days, or a string of those days, where you just didn't feel like yourself? 

It could have been caused by any number of reasons.  Maybe you weren't getting enough sleep.  Maybe you had too much going on to where you couldn't relax.  Maybe you were just in a funk and thought things that didn't go your way should have.

I've recently been in one of those ruts for all of those reasons.

That's me, wallowing in self pity in my hole/rut.

It's not easy to get out of that.  For me, it was just getting worse.  My self-perceived hole was getting deeper.

I was exhausted.  My girls and I were playing and I knew I was being short with them.  I was trying to get them to entertain themselves so I wouldn't have to read the same blasted book for the umpteenth time (yes, I just used the words blasted and umpteenth in the same sentence). 

They clearly were not in any mood to be pushed away.  My doing so only made things worse.  If I wanted to maintain any level of sanity I needed them to stop throwing a fit.  So I read the book.  Every time I finished it, they would both give me the sign.  Again. 

Again, and again, and again.

I was fighting the urge to push them off of me and run for cover.  At one point, I may even have stood them up and told them to leave me alone for a few minutes.  I didn't think they'd understand what I meant, but they did. 

Brynne clinched her jaw as she fought back the urge to scream, shook her head violently back and forth in anger/frustration, and just stood there glaring at me. 

Hadley looked at me with those big, beautiful, blue eyes of hers welling up with tears.  She then told me "no".

How can you say "no" to this face?

That made me feel like a big bag of shit.

It also brought me out of my funk - at least for a little bit.

All my daughters wanted to do was: sit in my lap; turn the pages of one of their favorite books; point out the animals they knew while either making the appropriate sign or animal sound; hear my voice read the words they couldn't; and acknowledge/praise them for how much they knew and could do.

As I look back on the whole event, I still don't know if they were being selfish, too, or just wanting to hang out with their dear old Papa.  At one point I caught Hadley just looking at me.  Brynne was still turning/ripping pages and pointing out everything on the page while I recited the words.  Hadley was just sitting there with her head cocked so she could look up and back at me -  just staring at me.  If she could fully express herself, I imagine she would have asked me if I was okay now.

That might have made me cry a little.  Actually, it made me cry a lot. 

I don't know how long I sat and stared at her beautiful little face with tears running down my own, but it was long enough for Brynne to finish the book and hop up to get another one.  She got the book, gave me a pat on the back, plopped back down in my lap, looked up at me, and gave me a huge smile.  That broke the trance, and soon both girls were fighting over who got to turn the pages of the new (finally!) book.

And I was crying again. 

In the end, it doesn't matter if they were being selfish or not.  This is what matters:  my words and actions caused them to feel rejected. 

Try that one on for size.  I rejected my daughters when all they wanted was quality time with me.

How long will they want me to read to them?  When will I be the one asking to spend time with them, only to be told no, and to then feel rejected myself?  Why did I allow my frustrations with everything else in the world to impact our time together?

I don't know the answers to any of those questions.

Any advice as to how to either avoid the rut or get out once inside it (other than drugs and alcohol)?

Professor Papa - Part 7

Time for another exciting episode of teaching my kiddos good and bad things.  Actually, today will be a little different.  We're going to look at two good things, and not any bad things (I'm improving--at least that's what the wife says). 
Lesson 1 - London Bridge

A few months ago, when the girls were getting good at walking, I taught them to play a modified version of London Bridge is Falling Down.  If you're not familiar with this, the "game" is typically played with more than two children. 

Two of them stand facing one another, join hands, and lift them high to create an arch.  The other children walk through the arch.  Everyone sings the song and when the last word is sung, the arch comes down and attempts to trap a child in the arch.

Our version, since we were short on bodies, just became them walking through my legs as I stood there.  No singing, no trapping, just walking.

They loved it. 

Once they were able to walk backwards, they had more options to choose from.

Option 1 - walk through forwards, turn around, and walk through forwards from the other direction.

Option 2 - walk through forwards, circle around to the front and do it again.

Option 3 - Walk through forwards, then return backwards.

Option 4,5,6 - Replace backwards with forwards and vice versa.

I love how children are easily entertained.  This could go on for a long time before they tired of it.

We did, however, discover a problem.  We can almost hear them growing taller each and every day.  I don't recall exactly when it happened, but at some point, even with me on my tip toes they didn't have enough clearance to walk through.

Lesson 2 - Ducking

We had a few options at this point.  We could remove the game from our repertoire, let them continue to run into the bridge (not an option in my mind), have "the bridge" stand on something to increase the clearance height, or teach them to duck.

We obviously, based on the name of the second lesson, taught them to duck. 

They look like the cutest little hunchbacks you've ever seen when they duck forward and walk around - usually with their arms out to their sides.  I assume they do this to help with balance, but I don't really know.

I wonder if there is a warning when coming from the other side.

Since they are so tall, items we didn't expect them to be able to reach are quickly coming into play.  The underside of a table, the...uh...well...I guess the underside of a table is the only thing they could ram into.  So we've taught them how to get under that without damaging their heads.

Cheers!!

Christmas confession

All the time I am asked "Twins?  How do you do it?"

We just smile and say we don't know any other way of having kids. 

I wonder how often that question is asked to Helene.  She has two sets of twins just two years apart in age!

I'm guest posting on her blog today, follow the link here to find me.  Please head over there to check out my thoughts.  While you're there, read some (or all) of what she's written, follow her, stalk her, leave a comment if you would. 

If you like my humor and sarcasm, you're going to love her.  Even if you don't like my humor and sarcasm, you're still going to love her.

Thanks, and enjoy!

In case my imbedded link doesn't work, you can just go here:

http://www.twosetsoftwins.com/2011/12/christmas-confession-courtesy-of-brad.html