Monday, February 6, 2012

Now I get it

Someone has replaced my girls' noses with faucets.  All they do is drip snot - constantly.  I got to spend a few days with them while Mama was out modeling and now I finally understand so many things I never used to get.
You might say I had an "a-ha" moment.
Since I love a list, as you know if you've read any amount of my "writing", I thought I'd share my new found wisdom via one here.

Things I now understand:

1 - Why my grandma always had Kleenex in her pocket/purse/car. 

The opening paragraph should make this one easy to see.  We have something to wipe a drippy nose in every room of the house.  From Kleenex, to paper towels, to toilet paper.  I think we have it covered. 

For those times when something is not handy, I will use my shirt.  I wear old shirts around the house, and it's sometimes easier to use it than to leave them alone when I know all they'll do is wipe their nose with their sleeve and spread snot across their face the second I turn around.  Snot on a face is not too difficult to remove, unless their hair gets caught in it.  Then it becomes a little more challenging - unless you have Boogie Wipes handy.

At some point I'll teach my girls how to farmer blow so they won't need to carry something around with them, but it's probably a bit early for that now.  Besides, I think their mother would shoot me.  For now, all I can do is carry some wiping tool in my own pockets.  I just need to remember to take them out before throwing the pants in the laundry.  Julia just loves opening the dryer to find little bits of paper towel scattered throughout the load.

2 - Why a mother's purses is so large.

We each have a diaper bag, but they aren't always convenient to carry around.  Mine is actually a specially designed backpack.  Sounds cool and fancy, but it's not.  It's just a backpack with spots for everything I might need for the kiddos.

Mama's is a huge bag with room for three of everything you might need.  As the girls get older and we realize we don't need to carry the proper gear for every circumstance we may encounter, Mama's diaper bag and purse have been combined.  She's not carrying the traditional purse, though.  Her "diaper bag purse combo" is merely a converted cloth shopping bag we used to use for groceries. 
If this had a shoulder strap, my grandma would've carried it around.
It holds all the essentials for her, as well as the basics for the girls, and has room leftover to hold a few items in case an impromptu shopping trip occurs.  I doubt she'll ever make the switch entirely to a huge purse, so this is her way of being stylishly practical.

3 - Why certain phrases are staples of a parent's vocabulary

There are certain phrases I heard as a child, and others I have since heard from other parents.  I didn't think I'd use them until I heard myself say them.

"You'll just have to entertain yourself for a little while".  "Not right now".  "We can do that later, but for now you need to _______".  "Because I said so".  "Shut up or I'll give you something to cry about!"  This last one I only say in jest and quiet enough so only Mama can hear.

These are just a few examples, but I'm sure you get the picture.  When I was little I thought my parents were being horribly unfair.  If I wanted to eat a cookie and chug a soda right before bed I should be allowed to do that.  After all, I was eight years old and could handle it.

Now, I realize these phrases come from nowhere in particular.  I'm not being mean when I say them, I don't even realize what I'm saying.  They are just a reflex.  That reflex occurs because if I truly said what I was thinking at that moment in time, I'd end up with a huge bill from some therapist later in their life.

Three is a short list, but since I expounded on everything more than I planned on, I'll just save the others for later.  I get to do that because I'm the parent and you're not.

1 comment:

Julia said...

Dearest husband,

You can teach them to farmer-blow over my dead body. Even then, please don't????


Your Wife