Don't have what you need? Be creative

As we arrived at the airport for our vacation, Julia had a bit of a freak out moment.

WHERE'S BRYNNE'S BINK?!?!?

Bink = pacifier

It wasn't strapped to her shirt.

It wasn't on the ground.

It was nowhere to be seen.

Like an idiot, I suggested the following:

Well, we've been thinking about helping her kick the bink habit - maybe this is a sign that now is the time to start.

Apparently that wasn't a good idea.

I was politely informed she would probably like to have her bink for the flight to help with her ears popping, and we wouldn't want to wipe it down every time she dropped it.  And she would drop it.

She knows when it is dropped it is still right there for her.  So even if she sneezes it out (which is a pretty cute sight) it is right where it should be.

As luck would have it we could not locate her back-up holder before we left, so the AWOL holder was our only option.

I had a brilliant idea!

The shops at the airport have a very strange inventory they maintain.  I was sure they would have a holder.  AND it might even be duty free!!

They did not. 

I could buy a little yapping dog that flips over all by itself.  I could choose from a wide variety of shot glasses, magnets, and even bumper stickers.  Or any number of pills, electronic devices, or reading materials.

SIDEBAR - I think it's very interesting how the airport shops sell Playboy, Penthouse, and other adult-themed magazines.  Do people really buy them there and then read them on a plane?  What an awkward flight that must be if the reader sits next to a member of the clergy or a little old lady.

SIDEBAR OVER

I couldn't, however, find anything that would even come remotely close to fitting my need.

There comes a time in every man's life when he must ask himself one very important question:

My answer was simple: 

• I pulled a spare bink from the bag of them I held.
• I pulled out my shoe.
• I removed the shoe lace.
• I used it to fashion my very own (patent pending) bink holder and tied it around Brynne's neck.
• I actually tied it through a button hole on her shirt - her neck was too big.

 Problem solved.

I'm sure we looked like the biggest rednecks in the world with my daughter sucking on a bink being held to her clothing with a dirty shoe lace, but I didn't care. 

She would have that bink in a familiar place if she needed it - and that mattered more to me than my appearance.

We did, however, stop by the local Walmart once we landed to purchase an actual bink holder. 

It was the wrong kind, but that didn't matter.  With a little more MacGyver ingenuity, and the assistance of a local seamstress, we had our bink holder - and I had my shoelace back.

It was a little moist, but still functional.

Vacation - Papa's point of view part 1

I am better than Clark W. Griswold – Sparky if you will.

We hadn’t taken a real vacation since our honeymoon, so I thought it was time we did just that.  Staycations just don’t provide the same level of adventure and anxiety that real vacations do.

I also know how much Julia loves surprises, so I decided to make the entire trip a surprise.  Yes – I said it – EVERYTHING was to be a surprise.

How would you react if your spouse decided to plan a trip for you and your two children that were under two years old?  Julia will be posting her experiences in the whole thing soon to help you get a feel for what she thought.

I’ll start with the basics.  The only two people in the world other than me who knew where we were headed were two people that neither my wife nor I had ever met – John and Jane Doe for now.  I told our girls, but I don’t think they got it.  I even tried to sign it to them, but apparently you have to know what the signs mean before you can interpret them. 

Oh well, less chance of a slip from them.

I tried to get her to go in the spring, but due to the girls weaning and nap schedules Julia didn't want to take any trips.  I then decided we would do it in the fall, around our anniversary, and she couldn't object since I was giving them all ample time to prepare.

What will come out over the next five Fridays is the “diary” of my deviousness.  The planning took nine months; the trip took five days.  I can’t foresee doing anything like this again, so I am not worried about giving away the magician’s secrets.  Maybe you can use this to surprise your spouse as well.

One-on-one time is tough with twins

Not often do our girls get split up.  If we go somewhere or do something, we're usually doing it as a foursome.  I hadn't really thought too much about it until this past week. 

Both of our girls have a tighter bond with Mama than Papa.  It sounds weird to say it, but it's easy to see why it happened.  They're home with her all day every day; I go to work. 

It's not a competition, just a fact.

In my opinion, Brynne and I have a tighter bond than Hadley and I do.  Mostly, because Brynne's car seat is behind me so I'm the one to put her in it, take her out of it, and carry her around when running errands.

On the girls' first flight we had to sit in different rows.  Hadley came with me; Brynne stayed with Mama.  It was a great flight.  She handled everything so well and we got to just hang out.  We played (as much as you can in an airplane seat) ate, drank, read, and napped (a little) together.

I loved it, and I think she did too.

That night, after Brynne was sick and sleeping with Mama, Hadley came to bed with me.  I didn't get much sleep.  She thrashed about, and I feared rolling on top of her. I'd do it all again though--the snuggles were worth more than any amount of sleep.

I really loved that one-on-one time.  Now, I'm trying to be more intentional about getting it with each girl  (including Mama).

It's virtually impossible to do if I'm alone with Brynne and Hadley. The instant I take one with me to take the dogs outside, the other is wants to go too. 

As long as Mama's home, though, it's possible. 

I'm trying to decide if running errands with one of them while the other stays home (with Mama) is a good idea now, or if I should wait.

Are you intentional about getting one-on-one time with each of your children?
What age did you start doing this?
How often do you attempt one-on-one time with your kids?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts - and yes, I'm begging for comments here, so if you would oblige me I would appreciate it.

Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, time to get away

So our first official family vacation took place this last week.  All in all, it was a great time, though we did get off to a rocky start.  Let's walk through the list of what happened.

1 - Thanks to hurricane/tropical storm/tropical depression Lee, we had a little longer trip on the way out.  Our flight was delayed about an hour, and we only found out about it once we were at the gate. 

2 - When we finally boarded we discovered the plane was full, so we did not get to sit together.  Even though we booked  our seats (a window and an aisle seat) in the same row.  Since the girls were on our laps and each set of three seats only has four oxygen masks, Hadley and I were forced to move up a row. 

3 - We were nearing the end of our flight and the girls were nearing the end of their patience - not to mention their snacks/books/moving the tray up and down. The captain came on the PA and informed us that we were going to have to circle the airport for 25 minutes until we were cleared to land.  Not exactly what we wanted to hear.  Fortunately, five minutes later we were cleared.

4 - After landing, we had to wait for a gate to open up.  Then, since we were in the back of the plane, we had to wait for everyone else to take their sweet time unloading.  Finally, we were free.

5 - We went to the rental car lot and were given our car after a modest wait.  The girls had been travelling for five hours and were ready to be done.  Mama walked with them while I got the vehicle.  We discovered it was too small to hold us and our luggage.  Fortunately, they had larger SUVs so we were able to take one - for a few dollars more.



6 - The rental car seats were crap - utter crap.  The girls may have been safer just sitting in a cardboard box on the hood.  We wanted rear facing ones and they claimed to be such.  They did not, however, have all of the appropriate connectors and straps to install properly.  For the first time ever our girls rode facing forward.  They seemed to love it.  We loved being able to look back at them and see what was going on, but it just isn't as safe for them at their size.

7 - We got to our dinner location about two hours later than I had planned.  Since we were so delayed, we decided to feed the girls in transit some blueberries we brought with us for snacks.  They were starving, apparently, and gobbled them all down.  In the middle of the night, Brynne's stomach decided it didn't want them in there anymore and she expelled them.  At 3 AM I got her up, we cleaned the vomit off her, changed her to a new sleep sack, replaced her bedding (with towels since I didn't pack back-up bedding), and put her back down as she seemed empty.

8 - Less than 30 minuted later she needed new towels.  She was reenacting her Papa's trip from a few weeks ago, so Mama laid in bed with her.  Hadley was not happy about her sister getting more attention than she did, so I took her to sleep with me.  This was the first time either of them had slept a good part of the night with us.  Everyone (except me) slept pretty well.  Once again I was a chicken and feared I would either roll over her or let her roll off the bed, so I remained awake.  Even if that fear wouldn't have been there, she is a very active sleeper, apparently, and if I got close to sleep she would kick me, roll over on me, or put her head right on my windpipe to constrict my breathing.

This may seem bad, but this is all that went wrong.  Five days away from home, and this is all we had to endure.  Our girls did a wonderful job in adapting to whatever was thrown their way.

Now that the bad stuff is out of the way I can move on to all the great things we did.

Lists, lists, lists

I am a big fan of lists. 


I never leave home without my red European man-bag.

If I have any reason to make a list I will.  I suppose it's not so much the list itself as it is the ability to then cross things off that list.

I will write something new on the list AFTER I've done it, just so I can cross it off. 

Not only does it give me a sense of accomplishment, but it helps ensure I don't forget anything. 

For my money, there is nothing worse than getting home from running errands only to realize I forgot one thing - usually from the place furthest from home.

Taking our first family vacation provided me with the perfect opportunity for some lists.  Here's a list of those lists:

1 - things I needed to plan before we left

2 - things I could do to deceive Julia about the trip

3 - clothes to pack for me

4 - clothes to pack for Julia

5 - clothes to pack for the girls

6 - things to pack for the flight

7 - toys and books to pack for the girls

8 - toiletries to pack for all of us

9 - things we could buy once we got to our destination

10 - documents I needed to pack

11 - other things I shouldn't forget

Have you ever had that sinking feeling you were forgetting something?  I have, but not often. 

With my list(s) prepared well in advance, the actual packing takes less time since I don't have to think about what I'm missing.  I just know it's all there since I've reviewed my list and added items as time went on.

Yes, I am probably a bit insane, but it all seems to work out - for the most part.

More on the vacation to come soon!

Professor Papa - Part 1

I've had a lot of teachers in my days.  Some were good, and some were not.  They all taught me something, whether they believe it or not.

Today I thought I'd look at one good thing and one not so good thing I have taught the girls.

Let's start with the good one first.

Picking up.

I am a firm believer that everything has its place.  My office is organized - some might say it's too organized, but it works for me.

The garage, basement, and pretty much anywhere else I have any influence is picked up and neat most of the time. 

Let's face it, once we get past the basement and garage I have no influence - and the basement is limited to the unfinished part.  Pretty much, any space we don't routinely use, I can control - at least until someone uses it.

The girls have an uncanny ability to make one heck of a mess wherever they are.  Everything goes from organized - to scattered - in minutes.  I don't mind picking up someone else's mess, but doing it two or three times a day was getting out of hand. 

I like games.  The girls seem to like them as well.  It only seemed logical to make a game out of organizing.

We start with the books.  I ask the girls to bring me the books, and as they do I stack them on the shelf and praise them for helping.  Sometimes, they stack them all by themselves.

Then, we move on to the rest of the toys that go in the toy bin, ball bin, or toy bag--everything has a place.

Finally, we put away everything that comes with its own storage capabilities - puzzles, cups, shapes, etc.

Typically, we do the clean up just before they get changed and head to bed.  This lessens the likelihood of them undoing all their (and my) hardwork.

Now for the bad one.

Running their fingers through their hair. 

At first, you may be asking yourself why is this a bad thing?  It's not, by itself, a bad thing.  It becomes bad based on timing.

If they do it in the tub while we have soap in their hair, then it is a good thing.

That almost never happens. 

Most of the time they run their fingers through their hair when we have placed blueberries, blackberries, or a red pasta sauce in front of them during meal time. 

They also love to touch their hair when any sauce that is sticky is covering their little digits.  Syrup and BBQ are their favorites, but any sauce will do. 

It started as a cute little joke to make Mama laugh. 

We did the Home Alone pose, but then it quickly escalated to hair.  Once they realized how funny it was, they couldn't stop doing it. 

Fortunately, they have stopped it for the most part.  I'd love to take the credit for teaching them not to do that at mealtime, but I can't.  For them, it stopped being funny when they started using forks. 

The Golden Rule

Being in the financial services industry, I deal with privacy concerns every day.  There are so many rules and regulations surrounding most everything I do. 

• I can't send, nor would I, social security numbers, account numbers or anything similar in nature through email without having it encrypted.
• I can't speak to a husband about his wife's accounts unless I have her permission.
• If I mention my company's name on my facebook page or Twitter, I have to have a disclaimer stating that the opinions are mine, and not that of the company. 
• I can't let one client know another person is a client of mine, unless I get his authorization first. 
• I can't even tell one person if the friend of theirs they referred to me became a client without the other person's permission first.

There are a lot of rules to follow and they all have strict penalties for failing to adhere to them.  Blogging does not have any such rules.  I can do almost anything I want.  But I don't, and neither does Julia in her blog. 

When she first started blogging, we discussed what was fair game and what was not.  We've stuck to those rules for anything and everything we've written whether it's for her blog, my blog, or my upcoming book.

We agreed:

1. Not to post any naked or semi-naked pictures.  That goes for the girls as well. 
2. Not to post anything that would indicate when one or both of us were out of town.
3. Not to post anything if either of us is uncomfortable with the content.   
4. Not to publicly bash any person or organization.  

I can't think of one instance where either of us have failed to live up to our end of the bargain, and I don't expect it to happen. 

While it may seem as though our lives are an open book, they aren't.  Most of the truly intimate details of our life are kept between us.  If they're written down, it's in pen, in the journals we keep for the girls. 

  

I still see the occasional blog post or facebook update of a little naked one running around, the moaning about how one spouse mistreated the other, or how one's friend has wronged them.  I usually don't comment on them, because people are free to do what they want - even if I don't agree with it.

For us, we try to keep one thing in mind - once you hit submit it's out there, and will continue to be out there.  You can't take it back. 

Sure, you can attempt to delete it, but if one person has seen it, or if technology doesn't work exactly as it should, the damage is done.

Why risk it?