Wednesday, September 14, 2011

One-on-one time is tough with twins

Not often do our girls get split up.  If we go somewhere or do something, we're usually doing it as a foursome.  I hadn't really thought too much about it until this past week. 

Both of our girls have a tighter bond with Mama than Papa.  It sounds weird to say it, but it's easy to see why it happened.  They're home with her all day every day; I go to work. 

It's not a competition, just a fact.

In my opinion, Brynne and I have a tighter bond than Hadley and I do.  Mostly, because Brynne's car seat is behind me so I'm the one to put her in it, take her out of it, and carry her around when running errands.

On the girls' first flight we had to sit in different rows.  Hadley came with me; Brynne stayed with Mama.  It was a great flight.  She handled everything so well and we got to just hang out.  We played (as much as you can in an airplane seat) ate, drank, read, and napped (a little) together.

I loved it, and I think she did too.

That night, after Brynne was sick and sleeping with Mama, Hadley came to bed with me.  I didn't get much sleep.  She thrashed about, and I feared rolling on top of her. I'd do it all again though--the snuggles were worth more than any amount of sleep.

I really loved that one-on-one time.  Now, I'm trying to be more intentional about getting it with each girl  (including Mama).

It's virtually impossible to do if I'm alone with Brynne and Hadley. The instant I take one with me to take the dogs outside, the other is wants to go too. 

As long as Mama's home, though, it's possible. 

I'm trying to decide if running errands with one of them while the other stays home (with Mama) is a good idea now, or if I should wait.

Are you intentional about getting one-on-one time with each of your children?
What age did you start doing this?
How often do you attempt one-on-one time with your kids?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts - and yes, I'm begging for comments here, so if you would oblige me I would appreciate it.


Shell said...

Brad, I love reading your blog! Even though I have one little person I struggle with spending time with both of my "boys". A good reminder though, thank you!

You are one good Papa! Good work on the vaca!

Melissa Ann said...

Derek started taking one girl bird watching (no comments :-p) while I took one to play once a month around the age your girls are. It's tougher I think on Mama, because the one left with her is less than impressed. Or maybe I'm just less good at keeping that child's attention alone ;)

However, that moment when they realize they're being separated is heart wrenching! My advice: you and mama leave at the same time in different cars. That makes that moment a bit easier.

Deanna said...

I know this post is a few weeks old, but I clicked over from MandyE's blog and started reading through some of your posts...I thought I would throw my two cents in on this one, since you did ask for input! : )

One-on-one time is something we still struggle with in our house, but running errands together is one of the best ways we have found to make it happen. It's a little hard to load just one up and take her to the park while the other one gets to do something much less exciting. Also, we only have car seats in one vehicle, so if we go in opposite directions, we have to deal with moving a seat to my husband's truck.

What happens much more often is that one or the other of us needs to run to the store, the bank, the post office, etc., so we grab one of our girls to go along with us. The grocery store can be lots of fun to a 2-year-old, and a trip with just one baby is almost a relaxing experience for an adult who is used to wrestling two everywhere you go! : ) Sneak it in where you can, when you can, I say!

Helene said...

Ugh, the age-old question of parents with twins. I struggle with this too and it's gotten even more difficult with a second set of twins in the mix.

We usually do things in pairs, meaning if I have errands to run or want to do something special without ALL the kids, I'll usually take the big twins or the little twins but very rarely is it just one on one.

Bella and I have a lot more in common being the only females so she and I will sometimes do stuff alone but, again, it's rare because then I fear the boys will feel left out and like I prefer her company over theirs.

So obviously I have no easy answers for you...but just wanted to let you know you're not alone in your search for figuring out ways to handle one-on-one time with your twins.