Friday, April 6, 2012

My recent Facebook posts

Here are a few of my favorite status updates from the last month or so, with a brief description where warranted.  They are listed in no particular order:  

To the very obese lady who put 6 packets of sugar in her 64 ounce diet coke fountain drink...I think you're missing something. Probably not diabetes, just basic nutritional facts.  What else can I say?
It's such a good vibration.
Just heard Marky Mark and the funky bunch on three different radio stations at the same time. Seemed strange so I googled him to be sure he wasn't dead. He's not. This was just a few days after hearing Whitney Houston all over the radio, so I had to make sure.

At a continuing education seminar and I've never seen this many phones clipped onto belts in one place at one time. Insurance people are so cool.  I was there for continuing education, not to socialize.

Just saw my neighbor use a pooper scooper to pick up after her dog. She then proceeded to throw the waste into the storm sewer. Pretty sure that isn't right.

Either our bathroom scale is broken or I put on 9 pounds yesterday and lost 8.5 of them today. 

The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!  We just received the phone book, which went immediately into the recycle bin.  Can you name that movie? 
Answer:  The Jerk, with Steve Martin
Today is the second anniversary of my wife losing 25 pounds in seven minutes.  Our little ones turned two that day.

Didn't realize how tired I was until I took my glasses off...after I started shampooing my hair.

Just read an article on how to retire without a mortgage. One of the six recommendations was to rent instead of own. I'm thinking lazy writer + lazy editor = bad advice. I'm surprised other options didn't include moving in with friends, living on the street, and buying an RV.

Cubs lose, and are officially eliminated from postseason play.
And finally, a very timely status update from an earlier blog post of mine...

One of my favorite truths:

"If you were really the Son of God, you could just climb down off that cross!" they said.

And of course they were right. Jesus could have just climbed down. Actually, he could have just said a word and made it...
all stop. Like when he healed that little girl. And stilled the storm. And fed 5,00 people.

But Jesus stayed.

You see, they didn't understand. It wasn't the nails that kept Jesus there. It was love.


championm2000 said...

Thanks for the laugh! The world needs more status updates like these!

Olusola said...

Love the last one. It's wierd the way the world works these days right?! The stars only get attention when they die or are rumoured to be dead. Sad really!

irishtwinsmommababybook said...

Love the last one too. Makes a huge statement and makes my heart and soul smile big for knowing how much we/I are loved.