'Tis the season

What a way to start the month!  Here's how the morning of December 1st went for me.

3:00 AM - Laying in bed - still awake.  Don't know why I can't sleep, but I can't.  I decide an extra hour of sleep is more important than getting up at 5 AM to work out, so I turn off the alarm.

Soooo sleeeepy

6:15 AM - I'm awake.  Not just awake, but wide awake.  Mama has left to workout, the house is silent, yet I'm awake.  I get up and take the dogs out.  Like an idiot, I forget it's December so I only have a t-shirt and sweats on.  It is freezing outside and each dog decides to take longer than ever to do their business.

6:45 AM - Not only am I freezing, I am also starving.  Going to make breakfast or get a glass of milk, but I can't eat or drink anything since I have to fast for my annual blood work.

7:10 AM - The girls wake up and appear to have their eye infections back.  I wrestle with each of them for a bit to clean out the eye boogers, wipe their noses, and put in their eye drops.  I am now the bad guy and both of them scream if I come near them.  They run to Mama and I don't get my usual hugs and kisses before I head out the door.  Awesome.

7:25 AM - My new phone is giving me fits.  I'm trying to call someone, but their number is not showing up in my contact list.  I have to switch to a different contact list.  I still don't see it.  They are a Facebook friend, though, so I hit the little icon to see if the number is listed there. 

As I'm doing this, apparently, I swerve slightly over the center line - and a cop is behind me.  He turns on his lights and pulls me over.  I'm less than a mile from home.  I set my phone down to get my license and registration ready, as well as to find the paperwork that proves the car is a loaner from Nissan.

Cop - Why are you driving erratically?

Me - I was trying to call a friend and couldn't find his number.

Cop - Can you show me your phone?

Me - Sure. 

I turn the screen of the phone on only to learn that hitting the little icon doesn't pull up any data, it takes me to Facebook.

Cop sees Facebook on the phone and decides to write me a ticket.  I hit the back key to show him that I was on my contacts and didn't mean to log on to Facebook. 

Cop - Either you're getting a ticket for using an electronic device while driving or for improper lane usage.  They're the same cost, so I'll just give you the electronic one.

Me - I had a burning desire to ask why he felt like being an enormous piece of crap this morning, but I wisely kept my mouth shut.  After all, he was just doing his job and while I was looking to blame someone other than myself, I was the one who messed up.

As an aside, I do use my phone for non-phone purposes (navigation system, Pandora, checking e-mail, etc.) while driving so I guess I've earned this one over the years.  It just sucks that I got it at a time when I truly was not breaking the law.

8:10 AM - My loaner car goes from telling me I have 60 miles left to drive before running out of gas to ---.  I'm on the interstate and no gas stations are close.  For the next four miles I am waiting for the car to shut down.  It finally does.  Fortunately, I am coasting into the gas station as the gas tank goes completely dry.

So helpful

8:25 AM - I get to the office just in time for my annual wellness exam.  The nurse is taking my blood pressure and expresses concern over a 148/98 reading.  I tell her about my morning so far and she recommends I come back a bit later to retest. 

Finally, a bit of good news.  My triglycerides are down 55% from last year.  Still a little high, but significantly improved thanks to a change in exercise habits.

9:15 - I get sucked into a black hole of a discussion that benefits nobody and ends with no plan of action.

10:30 - I'm tired.  I want to go home.  The nurse is gone so I can't recheck my blood pressure.  Not that it matters, the Mt. Dew I chugged probably wouldn't help matters.

If this is a sign of what's to come this month, I think I'll hibernate.

Anyone remember the Hibernol commercial?